Category: Parent Talk
Hi,
I saw the previous thread from the Blind Guardian but as my situation is slightly different,
I thought I'd start a new topic.
My son is 11, but physically and mentally about 6 as he has a developmental disability.
With his diminished mental capacity, he is more impulsive and doesn't always remember
consequences or cause and effect. I have generally held his hand everywhere in public,
which has worked out well so far, but then again I've almost always been with family so I
was not the only one supervising or needing to watch where he was. He would often hold
my hand for a bit, then switch off to someone else, but there was always someone
sighted.
Things have changed and I'll be having to take him out in public a lot on my own now,
independently. This presents challenges since I'm using a dog, so both hands now will be
occupied. This becomes a problem when shopping or in situations where I need to drop
his hand, as he'll take the opportunity to run or be disobedient. Talking to him works
generally, but there are times when he is just acting so silly or unpredictably that having
him listen and protecting his safety are real concerns.
How do you all feel about a wrist to wrist tether, even for an older child, in my situation? I
would normally cringe at the idea, but as I said, safety comes first and in my situation,
despite his age, I don't know what else I should do.
Opinions appreciated.
Victor
I'm not a parent, but I don't think you would be doing anything bad by doing this.
It's not like you're doing it for yourself, or with a child without developmental delay. You have legitimate reasons for doing it, that you can justify if anybody does ask why. It's better that he be safe.
Do it. Safety first. the odd person may say something, but it's worth it. People will either judge you, or ask about it. Either way, it's a good idea.
Thanks guys, I appreciate the feedback.
I liked the non-obvious suggestions in the other thread (i.e. the backpack that had a
handle, bells, squishy shoes etc) for the younger kids but just couldn't bring myself to
actually do this tether thing until now when I feel I have no other choice.
I know ultimately it's my choice and I probably may get some flak for it, but I guess I
shouldn't care.
I agree. people say weird things anyway. Your child's safety would come first, in my opinion, and in the opinion of the law.
Victor, assuming that you got your dog from Guidedogs Canada, perhaps is worth approaching them to see what they can ddo. at my school, and please, please don't take this the wrong way, we got another training program for assisted autism dog. What they do is that the dog will wear a soft harness, and with that harness, they got two clips. one for the parent cliping the lead, and another one for the child with another piece of harness attach to it for the child.
So, if the child want to run, or doing something unexpected, the dog will go lay down, and act as an anker for the child.
AAD have the same rights as Guidedog, in fact, they are train from the same school. I don't see why, it can't be work with your current dog, while he is guiding you, perhaps, he might able to help your son as well.
I'll try to talk to you about the details on private when i see you log in next.
Again, please, don't take this wrong, i'm not suggesting your son is ASD or anything, if it works, it might able to help you and him at the same time.
Safety is safety. Do what you need to do.
victor, to hell with what folk might or might not say. your responsibility is to your child! tether the little fe'lla! hell, put him to work too! hehehe jk sorry...
Joanne, I was actually talking about that kind of thing with the instructors at
GDB, cross-training dogs for both guiding and other duties. The sad fact of the
matter is that its just too hard to cross train guide dogs for much because guide
dogs work in so many environments. So, as they described it, if you're crossing
a street, you don't want the guide dog to suddenly go lay down to act as an
anchor for the child. The dog would have to know "ok, right now I'm a guide
dog" and "now I'm an anchor dog". Its too much to expect of one dog. So I
think the wrist tether is a much safer idea.
yes, it will be different program, but at the same time it is quite similar, in some parts of
the training. at least the early part of the training. of course, Guiding dog itself got much
more of a guiding responsibility than an AA Dog for example. But what Victor need is not
a full AA dog, he just need some extra help to anker the child when he needs to.
I think, it is worth approaching NSD, or Victor's local school and see if they can assisting
in any way. Who knows, they might suggest Victor to have another dog for his son or
something.
And, considering AAD got started in Canada, and assist a lot of school starting their own
AAD program, i think they will able to assist him more.
although I'm not currently a parent, others are right, in saying that you should do what you feel is best for your child. to hell with what society says/thinks about it, honestly.
People are always going to find a reason to judge us. That you're blind and with a child is going to be enough for some people. So, best to do what's best for your little one. Because most of the time, people's oppinions don't really matter.
Update:
I talked to GDB (my school) and discussed Joanne's suggestion, and basically Cody is
corect in that GDB believes a guide's focus has to be on their guiding work, not on serving
double duty or watching for my son. In fact, they too are in support of the wrist tethering
idea as it could potentially leave my right hand free to do hand signals and leash
corrections, which arre difficult when holding a child's hand naturally.
I think it will be difficult to manage two dogs while we are out, so my son having his own
assistance dog is a good idea but not practical. I am thinking some kind of retractable
wrist tether is what I'll look for, something that might encourage him to walk
independently beside me but not be able to stray more than a couple of feet away or that
I could lock to a certain length should that be more appropriate.
I guess I was too concerned about appearances and the stigma I attach to this idea, but
there is no way I can be chasing after him or allow him to stray when crossing a street or
the like, so yes, safety first.
Thanks everyone.
Is a good outcome Victor. At least now you know the idea of using dog is not possible then move on to the more practicle methods. I think the retractable
wrist tether will work, and like other said, safety come first above everything. Regardless of what you do, you will get people wondering and asking questions and staring at you guys anyway.
Lol, we always stuck out as a family when we were out, the 3 oddballs. We're used to the
stares and people always remember us as we stuck out like a sore thumb, so who the
heck cares anymore anyways. :D
Exactly. i think a blind parent with a child and a dog will always get interesting look anyway. So, do what is right on safety. After all, safety is really, more important than anything else. The few stares of ignorance is nothing.